In laws, bless their hearts, next to finances, are the reasons most couples argue during the wedding planning process. Couples have stopped their wedding plans because of those two reasons, more than all the others combined. And it’s very unfortunate, because if you adhere to a set of rules, this can all be alleviated. Also, be aware that getting inexpensive wedding favors can help alleviate stress as well. So, how can you bring all the in-laws together in a peaceful way during the wedding planning? It’s going to take a little bit of work and a lot of patience, but it can be accomplished as well as finding great unique wedding favors.
First and foremost the in-laws know that strategically to get what they want, they must divide and conquer! Armed with that bit of information, the wedding couple must decide to establish yourself as a couple that cannot be divided and refuses to make decisions without the other one present. This alone will cut your in-law issues in half. Once they are aware that you are a united front (sounds like a war doesn’t it?) they will cease and desist. Well, for the most part. And for the most part getting beach themed wedding favors will help if you’re having a beach wedding.
Remember, this is your wedding. If either or both of you feel very strongly about something that you don’t agree with that is happening, bring it up immediately. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will be. And as time passes, there is more of a chance that feelings will be hurt on both sides.
If you are paying for the wedding, then things can be the way you want very easily. If that is not the case and either or both sets of in-laws are footing some of the bill, maneuvering can be a little trickier because then you may have to compromise on certain issues. But even if the in-laws are paying, the couple needs to decide on the most important issues including: time of day to get married, location, guest list, type of ceremony, music and anything else that is crucial to them.
Another area that so many couples get into difficult situations with in-laws is when they try to negotiate between themselves about each other’s parents. Or worse yet, they try to make compromises with one set of parents, without the other’s knowing about it. This is where it really means war! Do not become a negotiator! Bring all of the parties involved together (with both of you present standing united) and discuss it openly and honestly. It may feel uncomfortable for the moment, but you will save yourselves much heartache in the future.
Most importantly, everyone must remember that you are all in this together. Having a peaceful wedding is a wonderful start to a joyous marriage. And if the parents of the bride think that her future husband is a couple of fries short of a happy meal, well, they aren’t the one that has to marry him and the other way around. Communication, above all else, is the key to navigating these waters. And realize that in life, there are always issues. Nothing runs smoothly all the time. Just be tolerant, patient and forbearing and know that this too shall pass!