“When I was a student, training to become a marriage counselor, I asked a lovely old lady in her late sixties, ‘When does sexual desire stop?’ Her immediate response was, ‘I’ll let you know,’” Eleanor Hamilton writes in Still Doing It: Women & Men over 60 Write About Their Sexuality.
“Her answer confirmed what I have known now for 40 years – namely, that we are sexual beings from birth until death.” When it comes to having a healthy marriage, intimate relationships are extremely important.
sexual relationships
Sex, romantic relationships are all closely interwoven, as intimacy begets bonding and bonding begets a loving, positive relationship. Often that intimacy can be carried outside the bedroom and into a deep satisfaction during everyday life.
One important way to rekindle sex relationships is to initiate daily contact. “Many couples have two modes of affection: nothing or intercourse, and when that’s the case, ‘nothing’ usually wins out,” explains relationships advice expert Barry McCarthy Ph.D.
The problem is that, if a kiss or back massage always leads to sex, spouses may avoid contact if they’re “not in the mood.” They may feel anxious or encounter performance anxiety when they’re touched, which inhibits sexual pleasure.
Instead, holding hands, hugging for no reason and initiating other types of contact will lead to a stronger connection, both in and out of the bedroom. McCarthy adds, “Your sex will become much more natural, because one kind of touch flows into another.”
romance relationships
“The latest research has found that one of the keys to sexual satisfaction is a sense of sexual adventurousness,” says Laura Berman, Ph.D., director of the Berman Center in Chicago.
She explains that the simple act of wearing a new nightie, planning a night at a bed-and-breakfast, sleeping on new sheets or pulling out all the romantic stops on a special dinner date will send a crucial message that says “I care.” Relationships sex therapists recommend changing it up sometimes.
relationships advice
There are also physical changes that may impede sex relationships as couples grow old together. “One thing you can count on is that when you are over 40 you won’t be getting spontaneous erections in the same rapid and easy way you did when you were in your adolescence years or early 20s,” cautions Dr. Saul Rosenthal, the author of Sex Over 40.
“Just thinking about sex or seeing a sexual partner won’t be enough. You will require more and more direct physical stimulation.” Having an understanding partner is the key to romantic relationships, he says. No matter what strategies are tried, communication is the key to a long and satisfying marriage.